It was on my never ending life list, how hard can it be?
Back in 2018 I entered a raffle and there were lots of prizes that I would have loved to win, I even donated a photoshoot as a prize myself, all in aid of Whizz Kidz, a great charity that helps to provide mobility for disabled children. I won – hoorah!
I won 4 classes at The Pole Fitness Academy in Witney. Great, I thought, that’s about as far from my comfort zone that anything could ever be but it was on my never ending life list so here’s an opportunity to get another tick, something else done and achieved.
I’m not sure I can honestly call it an achievement.
- Seriously, how fit do you need to be! I imagined that although I would never be an expert I’d at least manage a glide or two, a slip down the pole even if slightly rough at the edges but honestly – it’s hard very, very hard.
- You need muscle strength, all the muscles. I could say it didn’t help that I had a damaged rotator cuff on my right shoulder but I doubt that it would have made much difference even if I was in (my) peak fitness.
- It looks easy, just grab the pole then rotate and slide gracefully to the floor. In reality I did a pretty good impression of a baby Elephant lurching at the pole and clinging on for dear life before crashing in an undignified heap on the floor – several times!
(This is not me – obviously 🙂)
My final attempt at the basic move resulted in me kicking the pole as I did it and ended with a cut toe and blood all over the floor. I fetched some paper towels from reception and cleaned up the trail from my wound (that would not stop bleeding and really hurt) then sat at the side and watched the others practice their moves. At the end of the session I left with a slightly pained smile on my face and a promise that I’d see them next week.
I have never been back.
I tried, I’m glad I tried but I am to pole dancing what an elephant would be to Ballet.
It’s not giving up it’s knowing your limitations, accepting them and moving on.
(If you want to give it a go I will recommend The Pole Fitness Academy, they have a few branches and the trainer was very patient with an unfit, uncoordinated newbie).